I hear you guys are very interested in hearing how we are doing over here now that it has been 5 months with 2 kids. Let me just say this: my brain doesn’t even have a comprehensive answer because each day is different. Some days are great – I feel like the kids were manageable, I was productive, we are all happy, and it was a good day. Other days…I want to rip my hair out (or cry) and I feel like I need to hire 10 live-in nannies. Obviously I’m exaggerating; BUT, the harder days tend to feel exponentially more difficult than the hard days with just 1 kid.
The first few weeks were hard purely because of my c-section recovery. Once I was mostly healed, the challenge became which formula agreed with Walker. Once we figured that out (Holle Goat), the challenge became Capri entering her “Threenager” stage. So basically we can’t catch a break. Not to mention, as business owners it’s not like we got any sort of “leave” for having a new baby. The added responsibility brought its own set of stress, but we don’t need to get into that right now. Essentially what I’m trying to say is it’s HARD AF and I’m not here to pretend that 2 is a walk in the park.
A lot of you guys message me saying really nice things like ‘you make it seem so easy’ ‘how do you do it all?’ etc., and while I appreciate the sentiment, the truth is you’re seeing maybe a total of 60 minutes out of my 24 hour day [online]. As you know, my sister Jessie helps us out 4 days a week (yes, we pay her!) with the kids. Lital has also been willing to come 1 day per week to help on the day Jessie is at nursing school, so that leaves Paul and I with the weekends. We are lucky to have family that always drops by so we never fully feel “alone” but ultimately we are the ones in charge on Saturday & Sunday.
I hate that I feel compelled to include this, but even though we have “help” with the kids, it does not mean Monday – Friday we are living freely without taking care of kids. We are obviously the ones up with them at 6 am, in and out of the house all day dealing with tantrums, meals, school drop off / pick up, and then in the evenings dinner, bedtime, and then getting up with them in the middle of the night. People often forget that kids aren’t just a 9-5 job…so before you’re quick to judge, DON’T.
The way I power through the tougher days / times (aka when Walker is going through a developmental “Leap” or Capri was potty-training) is to focus on this being a short stint in time and that better days are ahead. As we all know, kids grow up super fast so even when they are going through the shitty sleep regressions (or whatever) just remember this too shall pass and before you know it, it will simply all be in the past. I know it sounds cliche but it’s all about your mindset. And I mean, obviously open up a bottle of wine and vent to whomever!
I always knew I wanted 2 kids and now that we have accomplished that I feel like we are living out the life we knew would be ours someday. While it’s hard at times, I am so grateful to have our little family and I’m so excited for all the fun things we get to do as a family in a few short years once the kids are both at an age that makes sense. Right now it feels a little like our (Paul and my) life is on hold because it’s not exactly ideal to travel with a baby and toddler who still naps. I don’t necessarily feel like I’m missing out on anything because we are so focused on growing our businesses that we are enjoying doing that, but of course there are times after both kids are down for the night that we are just like “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck what is our life?!” LOL….you have to have a sense of humor about it all!
Last thing I want to add, I am extremely fortunate to have a partner who is not only very hands-on with both kids, but also supportive of me going through all the things I go through emotionally (breakdowns, lacking alone time, moodiness, etc.) due to the life I live. I could not even imagine having 2 kids without such a solid support system, let alone single!!! So hats off to all the parents out there, whatever your situation is, it’s a tough ass job!! But it’s one that we all do out of the unconditional love we have for our kids.