I’m a small circle kind of b*tch, which probably doesn’t come as a surprise. I’ve made certain ride-or-die relationships in my adult years, which I’ve written about, but for the most part, it’s been the same clique for decades. Blame it on my lack of social interaction (by choice), the fact that I’m not the warmest/fuzziest person by nature or because I’m picky AF. I’m simply not willing to let someone into my life unless they’re the kind of person I really want to be around.
I’ve generally been smart about who I surround myself with, but I won’t pretend like I haven’t gotten duped. And whenever that’s been the case, there were red flags that I noticed long before cutting that person out of my life. I just didn’t act fast enough. So what are the red flags I stay farrrr the f*ck away from now?
+ Lies: I cannot deal with liars and pride myself on being an honest person, even if that can rub people the wrong way. Small lies adding up or big ones, if I notice a trend of untruthfulness…bye!
+ Trying too hard: I feel somewhat bad listing this one because I know this usually stems from a lack of confidence, but it’s something I stay away from in a person. I want my relationships to feel natural and comfortable; not like someone is trying to fit in. And if they are, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are a bad person, just not your person.
+ Changing plans 24/7: Now that everyone can cancel or change plans with the ease of texting, it’s a theme I notice in my generation (and younger people). Don’t get me wrong, I’ve bailed or changed plans on people, but I don’t make it a habit. People who care about respect your time.
+ Taking advantage: There is nothing worse than feeling like someone is taking advantage of you so don’t let them.
+ Shadyness: I see a lot of girls in the Private Facebook Group bring up situations involving shady guys and they’re always one of my favorite topics. In general, I have a very low tolerance for shadiness and I think it’s pretty hard for people to change their colors. More so for someone you’re dating, if you find sketchy photos on their phone, they look at every girl that walks by, or your gut is telling you they’re shady, you know what to do.
+ Bad manners: Obviously I’m not some etiquette school graduate but I 100% show respect by way of manners. If someone is rude to a waiter or something like that, I’m out. There are no excuses for bad manners.
+ Hurtfulness: If you leave situations feeling bad about yourself when you don’t deserve it, they likely aren’t worth your time. And even if you did deserve some sort of attitude, it shouldn’t come by way of hurt.
+ Drama: F*ck that. I’ve never been into people who create or support drama, especially as an adult.
+ Unbalanced effort: Relationships ebb and flow as people get busy or when shit happens, it’s part of the deal. If a relationship is feeling unbalanced the majority of the time, though, that’s another story. Both parties should be putting in a balanced amount of time and effort for a relationship to stay worth it.
+ No other friends: I’ve never trusted people who don’t have other friends, whether guy or girl. It’s weird!
Any other red flags to add to the list?