Wait, I might cry. How is Capri turning 1 today?! I know it’s super cliche but I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that she’s so big so fast. I just scrolled through my iPhone camera roll, which by the way has legit 10,000 photos of Capri over the last year, and it’s unbelievable how much babies change on a day to day basis. I have proof, because I literally took her photo every damn day. And like, TONS of them. And can someone please tell me WHY I can’t bring myself to delete any of the blurry ones? Like I just can’t. I’d rather just keep paying for more storage than be faced with deleting pictures of my baby…
So yeah, one year has gone by and I’m just as obsessed with her as the day she was born. And yes, your brain / mind / memory definitely tricks you hormonally to forget any dark shit you’ve been through.
Honestly though, looking back at the early days, when I was terrified of having a baby, being left alone with my baby, feeling super insecure about taking care of my baby, being uncomfortable with my baby, I still don’t think it was ever THAT bad. I got super blessed and lucky to have such a chill, sweet, and happy baby. And best of all, one who loves to sleep!
You all know this by now, but me and sleep are besties and no baby was coming in between that. Our night nurse was a life-saver, but Capri is an angel. She loves to sleep and has barely given us any issues whether she was going through a regression or teething. Capri, THANK YOU!
Overall I’d say the last year can be summed up as pleasantly surprisingly great. I was truly expecting the worst – sleep deprivation, no social life, struggling to keep my career afloat, unsure of what life would look like. Having a strong support system is the only way I could ever survive this though. Even with an “easy” baby the time you dedicate to them is exhausting. Your mind is constantly divided and occasionally you feel like shit for not doing enough. Fuck that mom-guilt though. I don’t have time for that…I have time to hustle and I have time for my family. Period.
Balancing work and parenthood has been a challenge but it’s rewarding, fulfilling, and the best gift I could give to myself and Capri. It keeps me happy, which in turn makes me a happier mom for her. I know she feeds off my energy so I do try to make a point of taking care of myself, too. Massages, dinners with girlfriends, travel, date nights…these all contribute to my self care, which should not be abandoned just because you’re a mom.
Watching Capri grow and change each day, week, month is just wild! She is learning so much and each milestone is more fun than the last. We have loved introducing her to the world of food (she LOVES to eat), taking her on hikes with the dogs, traveling to Mexico with her, spending the whole summer in the water, singing all our favorite songs to her, and watching her develop her own unique personality.
I can confidently say she has some of my quirks – she uses her feet for everything, she responds to strange nicknames, she’s a little spazzy, all mama things. She’s very much Paul in the sense that she loves to learn, she makes his facial expressions, and she’s VERY vocal about what she wants.
I die over her juicy kisses, how she flings her head back when we call her “chicken,” how happy she is when she wakes up, her delicious baby smell after a bath, and her sweetest little voice that is now saying so many words (Dada, Apple, Baby, Puppy, Hot, Up, Fish).
The love we have for Capri is unlike anything else in this world. She has changed the way we feel about everything! While so many people want us to have another baby (and we would like to eventually), I just want to cherish my time with her and really watch her closely as she grows over the next few years. I need more time to obsess over my child, obviously 😉
So, I’d like to wish my babygirl Capri a very happy first birthday. You are my whole entire world and I am so excited to continue spending the rest of my life watching you grow into the amazing person you already are and loving you endlessly.