It’s no secret that I have an obsession for the entire Bachelor franchise. It’s a complete shitshow and pretty hard to watch at times but it’s also the most entertaining show of all time. Even behind the production and crazy-ass contestants, I do think there are lessons to take from the show, which I’m sharing today. And for the record, yes we did submit Lily as the next Bachelorette! Let’s stalk the shit out of whoever we need to in order to make that happen, k?
+ You have to kiss a lot of frogs
Before Paul, I dated several guys and I’m beyond grateful that I did. I’m a huge believer in putting yourself out there, dating different kinds of people, and learning what you like, and maybe more importantly, what you don’t. Dating can be awkward and a lot of energy but it’s practice for a long-term commitment like marriage (for most people).
+ Don’t take yourself too seriously
One of my favorite parts about my relationship with Paul is our ability to laugh and make fun of ourselves (& each other). From guys riding in on horses to girls dressing up like sharks, you have to respect the humor of the contestants on this show. The people who take it too seriously rarely end up sticking around (and if they do, they’re usually a psycho).
+ Be honest
If there’s one thing this show has taught us, it’s that shit always comes around to bite you in the ass. The people who are disingenuous never end up staying in relationships and the same is true for real-life. Since we started dating, Paul and I have been honest with each other. That sometimes leads to arguments or hard conversations, but in the end, I always know where he’s at and vice versa. I think honesty is one of the core building blocks of any relationship, especially something long-term.
+ Focus on your own relationship
Personally, I’d go bat shit on the show. The entire process includes you watching someone you like makeout and flirt with other people, which is probably the most toxic thing for a relationship. It seems like the only time successful relationships come out of the show are when people can somehow put blinders on while focusing on their 1:1 connection. This same advice is true outside of reality TV. Whether it’s not comparing your relationship to something you see on IG or not bringing up ex’s, focus on your own relationship as much as possible.
+ Take your time
The nature of the show obviously promotes a quick engagement, but if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s that you need more time to get to know somebody. The couples who end up having a long engagement tend to stay together longer – and for obvious reasons. The beginning of any relationship is going to be the honeymoon period. Going on trips is fun and so is being drunk 90% of your time together like on the show. What’s not as easy is the longevity of a relationship and liking someone through mundane tasks and shitty times. Until you pass those tests, I think it’s hard to know if it’s the real deal.
+ Listen to the masses
There’s one time when you should actually listen to what people are saying about someone you’re dating and that’s when it’s coming from multiple people you trust. If everyone’s saying the guy you’re dating is a bad dude or a cheater or whatever, the masses are usually right. Just like the villain on the show ends up being straight crazy, same is true for off the show. Unless you truly think the person will change (unlikely), I’d run.
+ Never settle
There have been a few people on the show who end up not proposing and I actually love that move. I’ve already written an entire post on the subject of not settling and I wish I could tell this to every young person I meet. THERE IS NO NEED TO SETTLE. You deserve everything you want in a person and I guarantee that dating the asshole who treats you like shit isn’t your only option. Don’t put up with BS that doesn’t make you feel good. Yes, it might take longer than you’re hoping but you will find someone worthy. I promise.
Do you watch the show? If so, who is your favorite contestant ever?