I will be the first to admit that making friends as an adult is nearly impossible.
1) Work in a traditional office setting with other people
2) Play a sport
3) Participate in some kind of group activity (Sewing class? Book club?)
4) Are in school
5) Are friendly
6) Like to network
7) Don’t have resting bitch face
8) Have no issue going up to people to strike a conversation
9) Don’t fear public “meet ups”
…then I’m not entirely sure HOW peo0ple make friends in 2019 as an adult. We live in a very anti-social time, where we meet people online through apps (dating or Instagram) and have a shield to protect us. You could have all the confidence in the world behind your phone but then be totally awkward / shy / introverted in person. I personally fall into this category. I can talk to myself / you guys on my Stories all day long about my day / what I’m dealing with. However, throw me into a room full of strangers and I’ll need 2 glasses of rosé to loosen up and feel comfortable approaching a stranger. It’s not that I lack the confidence, it’s just that I don’t know what to say. I suffer from RBF and monotone-ism (I just made that up btw), so unless you really know me you might be offended by me. Does that make sense?
When I’m introduced to people though, I feel a lot more comfortable being myself. I feel like I have a “wing man” to help me out in case the other person doesn’t get me. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work that way, though, and sometimes we are on our own.
When I first started blogging I had to attend events alone. Probably one of the biggest challenges I had to overcome, if we are being totally honest. I didn’t know anyone and wasn’t sure how I would ever meet anyone with my problem. What I discovered early on is that most girls were in the same boat as me. I ended up growing some balls and approaching girls I recognized from Instagram and was pleasantly surprised by how friendly so many were. And I know what you’re thinking–yes, there were some unfriendly ones, too.
I actually met my friend (& blogger) Sophie Elkus like this. I saw her at an event where I knew no one, I went up to her to say hi IRL, and the rest is history! We hit it off instantly and seriously have been great friends ever since. She became my blogging buddy and we would attend events together, meet new people together, travel together, take each other’s pictures, and she introduced me to the people she knew along the way. I think back to the day we met and am so thankful that something inside of me compelled me to approach her.
I have also made some great friends through Instagram. Social media has the power to connect you with people all over the world and it’s such an incredible thing when you meet in person and the connection is still there. My good friends Annie Lawless and Belen Salomon are 2 examples of people I “knew” through IG but have become some of my best friends. Trust me, I know the “spark” isn’t always there in person. I’ve met plenty of people in person after being Internet friends and could tell instantly our friendship is best left in the DMs.
Of course, I’m extremely grateful for life-long friendships that were made the good old fashioned way, too. My best friend Lily Adel and I met in high school English class and were instantly BFFs upon discovering our mutual obsession with all things: pink, Paris Hilton, Hello Kitty, & Juicy Couture. We have been through every major life event together starting from our Sweet 16s, boyfriends, first homes, travel, marriage, Capri…We have stuck together through our own individual life changes, transitions, and growth but at the end of the day will always support each other. Friendships like mine and Lily’s takes effort–you have to understand each other, make time for each other, and reciprocate.
I’m very lucky to be surrounded by so many people that I truly enjoy. While my family is family and you have to love family, I choose to spend time with mine. I don’t just love my family because they are family, I LIKE them, too. I have childhood friends, college friend (I literally made ONE because we are both anti-social LOL), and now my blogging friends. It’s so easy to let friendships fade as you grow and change as a person. But something I take pride in is my ability to see past my friends’ flaws (poor choices they have made, mistakes, fights, etc.) and maintain a true friendship. We are all human and will mess up at some point, but real friends stick around.
I will save my thoughts on mixing friends for another post. I feel like that is SUCH a topic to discuss…clashing personalities, jealousy, possessiveness, etc. I hope this post answered some of your questions regarding friendships. If there is anything else you want to know, leave me your suggestions down below in the comments so I can work on another post.