30 THOUGHTS ON TURNING 30

Photo May 03, 12 59 18 PM
Birthdays are something I like to make a big deal out of. Because, honestly, why the hell not?! While I have a pretty exciting life (IMO), I could use an extra day of celebration and champagne. Almost every year I’ve celebrated with some sort of themed party. They are typically based around parties that I would like to be invited to (but haven’t). Despite throwing a Halloween / Birthday party last year, this one actually deserves a celebration.

The big 3-0.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about turning 30, as I’m the last one of all my friends to turn 30. I’ve watched some have mini mid-life meltdowns, some go into depression, some completely disregard the milestone, and some embrace it. Having been 29 through it all, I told myself that I would absolutely go down the “30 flirty & thriving” route (13 Going on 30 reference, for anyone living under a rock!) when it was my turn.

My turn is just a few short days away, and I think being knee-deep in party preparations has distracted me to a point that I practically forgot about my age. Not to say that I’m freaking out, but as I write this while sick on the couch for 2 days straight, I’ve had a lot of time to really think. The last few years have really helped me form into a person I feel comfortable being and I can only imagine that it will get better the older I get. Self confidence truly is the best feeling. With that said, here are my 30 thoughts on turning 30.

Photo May 03, 12 58 09 PM
Sivan Ayla age
30 Thoughts on Turning 30:

1. 30 is young. I believe that it is completely a mindset and choice. When you tell others and yourself that you are old, you start to become old. But if you don’t dwell on your age (number) and just live life as you want to, then age is no longer a factor of who you are.

2. I don’t look 30. So, I’m really short (5’3″) and I don’t wear a TON of makeup. 2 things that give me an advantage. Plus, I don’t think my outfit choices really scream “grown ass woman,” it’s more like “girl still getting outfit inspo from Pinterest.”

3. My body feels 30. Sometimes after a new or rigorous workout my body just feels old. Everything starts hurting for a lot longer than usual. Gone are the days where I could hop up on the kitchen counter and grab something from the top shelf. These days I have to schlep the step ladder inside and it’s just so damn inconvenient.

4. Confidence is the best feeling. It has wavered over the years. I’ve gone through really good times and not so great times, which has always affected my confidence level. But the older I get, the more I learn to NOT let these things get to me. Who I am as a person shouldn’t be determined by a job, relationship, amount of money, etc. This mentality stems from confidence in who you are. I honestly don’t care if someone doesn’t like me, and ironically, the second I started thinking like that, the less people don’t like me.

5. I’ve learned to say No. Too tired to go out? No. Don’t want to spend money on something you don’t find valuable? No. Don’t want to be part of an uncomfortable situation? No. For someone who used to NEVER say no (me), I’m finding that saying no to things isn’t a big deal and gives me a sense of empowerment that I can stand up for myself without feeling guilty. But don’t forget to say yes sometimes, too :)

6. Skincare is KEY. Wrinkles are probably the biggest thing I get worried about as I get older. I just really don’t want wrinkles. My mom has a flawless face, so hopefully I get her good genes (she still gets ID’d!). But because I’m blind as a bat and squint a lot, the wrinkles are starting to set in. Investing in good skincare products has become my new favorite way to blow money!

7. Speaking of money. It may have taken me almost all of my twenties to actually save money–I would start, then spend it, start, then spend–but as I approach 30, I’ve developed a sick thrill from putting as much money as possible into the savings. Whereas I once got a thrill from buying something designer (I mean, I still do), the thrill of savings is almost better. I can thank my husband for drilling it into my head for all these years.

8. I won’t be a “young” mom. My parents had me and my sisters all before they turned 30. Granted, today is a different world and people are having children later. But the realization is…weird. Technically after 30 they suggest freezing your eggs. My mind didn’t go there (someone felt the need to tell me this recently), trust me. Paul and I would like to have kids, but I feel like right now the world is purposely having me focus on my career, the prospect of a new house, and travel. Everything will happen when it’s supposed to.

9. Real estate is addicting. Maybe it’s all the HGTV I watch, but I finally feel like I understand real estate. Mind you, I own a house, but I hardly knew what the fuck was going on during the process. Now that we are looking for house #2 I have a whole new understanding and confidence.

10. People will take me seriously. Yeah, right. I sure as hell don’t! I still feel like a worthless kid sometimes. Even when I host Thanksgiving I pretty much wait for the real adults to do the work. This probably goes back to #1 on the list of having a young mindset.

11. My passport is full. I’ve been so fortunate to travel to the most incredible destinations the last few years. As I kid living in Israel, it was easy to travel to exotic places like Egypt and Turkey, but once my family moved to the US travel became rare. Since 2015 I’ve traveled to 5 different countries that were on my bucket list. I feel like it’s time to put the passport away for a moment and just focus on being home.

12. I treat my body well. I am treating my body better than ever. I used to think that my six-pack abs in high school were my glory days, but now I feel better than ever about my body. I’m fuller but healthier. I exercise, eat well, take my vitamins, and feel like I truly know what my body needs. I no longer ignore signs my body is giving me, either.

13. Water makes the world go round. Seriously, water is usually the answer to all of my physical problems. Hungover? drink water. Headache? drink water. Constipated? drink water. Bloated? drink water. Bad skin? drink water. Sick? drink water. While drinking water used to be a struggle, now I cannot get enough.

14. I’m more educated. This applies to so many areas of life–the food I buy, insurance, taxes, finances, business decisions, branding, health, etc. As you live life you acquire a wealth of knowledge (if you pay attention) that will help you live your best life. The more information I know, the better decisions I make.

15. Relationships will come & go. True friendships will last through everything. I’m extremely lucky that my core group of friends are still present and in my life. I admire, cherish, and love them and know the importance of making an effort. There have been others that are no longer friends, and the best way for me to view those relationships is they have served their purpose in my life and moved on.

16. Marriage is what you make it. Some people say marriage changes everything, and others say nothing changes at all. I believe it’s completely what you make it. You can either constantly remind yourself WHY you chose the person you’re with, or you can fall into the trap of complacency. As cheesy as it sounds, I love Paul more now than ever. Our love for each other grows as does our respect for each other as we deal with life together.

17. My business is my livelihood. I get such fulfillment from growing my business. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of my growth has occurred in the last few years (leading up to 30), as I started to truly understand HOW to grow a business.

18. I’m one of the “older” bloggers. I love the reaction I get when people ask my age. It’s flattering, really. But ultimately the reason anyone finds me interesting at all is because I can provide some valuable life advice, which typically comes once you’ve actually lived for a good amount of time.

19. Time management is becoming a problem. Not gonna lie, I know way too many older people who no longer posses time management skills. I vowed to myself to never be like that, but I’m slowly finding myself needing a little extra time to get out of the house. I must put a stop to this, stat.

20. My furniture taste is getting expensive. I am pretty resourceful when it comes to furnishing and decorating my house, but that’s not to say I don’t enjoy a little splurge item here and there. Vintage rugs and designer furniture have become my guilty pleasure.

21. My closet is more basic. My style finally feels effortless. As in, I love all my jeans and t-shirts equally and can very quickly get ready most days. There is nothing wrong with owning 23 pair of jeans that are just slightly different (if you wear them all), and a drawer full of black & white basic tops. I rely on shoes, handbags, and accessories to make the outfit a little more exciting.

22. What I eat matters. I’m not particularly happy about this, but I’ve started paying attention to how I feel after eating, and have finally pinpointed my intolerances. It’s a work-in-progress but I feel so much better without all the constant stomach aches and bloating. It only took me 30 years to figure it out…

23. Hangovers are not an option. Unless you’ve had a hangover at age 30 (or almost 30) you won’t have any idea how brutal it is. These days I know my limit to avoid those nasty all-week hangovers, because they really do fuck you up for an entire week!

24. You get excited for silly things. Changing the kitchen sponge, freshly washed towels, a completed to-do list, your favorite chai brand on sale, these are all things that I find myself getting excited over these days and I’m not mad about it.

25. Communication will fix anything. I’ve never been one to be confrontational and I avoid conflict, but every now & then you just have to have one of those uncomfortable conversations. While I strongly dislike doing it, I always feel better once I get an issue off my chest.

26. Designer items are within my means. While I was the queen of saving up all my hard earned money in my early 20’s to buy one designer item, the truth is I was living outside of my means. I look back at some of my outfit pics on the blog and I’m holding a $1700 bag with a $7 tee shirt from Forever21. I’m all about mixing highs & lows, but now buying a designer item feel less cringe-worthy when I hit ‘complete order.’ The way it should feel!

27. Suddenly there is more to talk about. When you live life you’ll see that conversation starts having more substance–careers, kids, homes, travel, experiences. Don’t get me wrong, I still love me some celeb gossip, but I prefer to fill my time with friends chatting about things that really matter rather shit talking.

28. Trust my intuition. I used to ignore those odd feelings in my tummy in certain situations. Now, I trust my gut more than my logical thoughts. It just seems like your intuition ultimately rules out overthinking and ends up being right.

29. Stay positive. I used to have an “attitude problem” as a kid. Paul also used to say that his biggest issue with me is my attitude. While I’m still pretty sassy, I’ve learned to remove the negativity from my attitude. Once you strip away the negativity, you become such a happier person. Less judgement, less conflict, and more positivity.

30. This is just the beginning. I’ve had a good run in my 20’s. I learned SO many valuable lessons, got married, bought a house, started my blog, adopted dogs, and finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m excited to see what my 30’s bring. Kids? A new house? A move? A trip to Morocco? I’m ready for it all!

SHOP THE LOOK:

9 Responses to 30 THOUGHTS ON TURNING 30

  1. Ashley Ann Ekegren says:

    Absolutely loved reading this!!

  2. Number 11 and 15 totally spoke to me! Especially number 15. Thanks for sharing Sivan! :) Love your input on number 15–I am going to try and keep that in mind as my life goes through different phases :) XO

  3. Sivan, thank you for this post! I love how real and honest you are with yourself and your readers, it’s refreshing in this industry where we are expected to live a “perfect life.”

    I applaud you for giving yourself a pat on the back for all of your accomplishments but also recognizing that you can always improve! Bravo!

    This has inspired me to reflect before my next birthday!

    Xoxo,
    Aleksandra Culafic
    @aleksandra.culafic

  4. I loved reading this! I totally agree with you on the real estate is addicting part. I bought my condo two years ago and find myself always looking through listings new homes. And yes the hangovers are the worst!! I’m in my late 20s and and definitely can’t go out all night anymore.

    Xo,
    Jasmin
    http://www.jasminwears.com

  5. Mayra says:

    I can relate to majority of your thoughts. Although I chose not to make such a big deal about my 30th birthday, I enjoyed looking back and seeing how much I’ve blossomed. I’m 31 now but I forget that I’m in my thirties because I always get confused for an 18 year old lol.
    Congrats on your achievements and future success. Welcome to the 30’s club Sivan!

  6. Chelsea says:

    Wow! Such a great read. I usually see these type of articles on “Elite Daily” and not to knock the site but I typically scroll past. After following you on Instagram and reading your blog, I figured, let’s give this a read. Soon, I’ll be 29.

    You hit so many points that I could and can relate to. Really was a breath of fresh air. Here I am…with a good job and some might look at and say, “perfect life”. But I look at my life and think, “what else?” I have felt lately a certain type of pressure to cram as many things in my last year of 20s as I can and it can be stressful as that list is growing!

    You’ve inspired me and I really really enjoyed and needed this!

    Thank you!

  7. Diana says:

    I always love reading birthday posts but yours was different…. I could tell that everything you said you meant instead of some very basic “one life one chance, the present is a gift” kinda things. Happy birthday! You look stunning :)

    https://thedianaedition.com

  8. Cherie says:

    I turned 30 a few months ago and I absolutely agree. This age is the best on so many levels! Happy early birthday Sivan. Ps we are going to Morocco in nine days! Can’t wait. :)

  9. Karina says:

    Hi Sivan!!

    I really enjoyed reading this. I recently started reading your blog and I absolutely love it. I love that your blog covers various topics, grown woman topics, that I can relate to. I know that you’re in search for house no. 2. Could you please write a blog on your knowledge on real estate. Any tips, do’s or don’ts, and suggestions would be greatly appreciated as I’m looking to purchase a home in the next year.

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